damn you eve!

this is purely satirical. the fall of man is no joke. anyway.

FREAKING EVE MAN!!

I feel like if Eve had any idea what she would have brought upon us women every month, she woulda freaking stepped on the head of that snake and run the other direction. She wouldn’t have been so freaking selfish and woulda thought about the generations of women that were going to suffer every month of menstrual cramps… don’t get me started on labor. I’m sure some woman out there could write a blog about it.

I AM DYING and ADVIL ISN’T WORKING FAST ENOUGHH.

I usually can’t sympathize with a lot of girls cuz my cramps usually are not that bad but HOLY %^&*()$)(*#$ the pain………….I think I’m ready to cry.

I really want to cry. I think my lower abdomen is on fire. FIREE. DO YOU KNOW HOW THAT FEELS, GUYS?

Ok so guys want to hurl when they get hit in the balls. SOLUTION: DON’T PLAY SPORTS.

IIII DON’T HAVE A SOLUTION! there iS NOTHING I CAN DO. I refuse to go on birth control cuz.. that’s just not natural.

ok. sorry if you are a guy and your view of me has changed forever due to this.  but. this is real. don’t be ignorant.

menstrual cramps are serious biisssness, man!

 

a blessing:

You know what’s a REAL blessing in my life?

That I have a home. Like.. a real home…where I am loved, taken care of, prayed for…

My dad called me yesterday? and in the course of that conversation he said, “Sunhee, can you puhleasseee come home sometime before Thanksgiving?”

At the time, I was all like “oh my gawd appa, I’ll be home for thanksgiving! That’s like. THREE WEEKS AWAAY!”

But then, something happened this week that made me miss my dad so much…

and sitting here thinking about, I am so thankful for my dad [and mom]. I take them for granted alllll the time. I take everything they do for me for granted…and the older I get the more mistakes I see in my past (damn my mom was right about that!)…I used to wish that my parents wouldn’t care about where I was and stuff so I could just play and go out all day but you know what? I am so so so glad that they want to see me at home, and I love how they make a big deal out of the family being together. I love that they come to my room wayyy too early in the morning, and how my dad still demands a kiss from me when he comes home from work.

Parents are awesome. and the cool thing is…I’m learning more and more about their role in their child’s life…and how freaking scary it must be to BE a parent. MAN I am so glad I am their child and not…my parent. I am a crazy person. I hope my kids turn out better than me. HAHA.

Bless their hearts man, they are doing an amazing job. I think a lOT of our parents are doing an awesome job. Parenting sounds sooo scary, annoying, hard, painful… but there they are, parenting away, loving us and supporting us. curraaziness.

Families are meant to be SO MUCH MORE and used SO MUCH MORE than we think. God’s intention of putting a buncha his children together like that is crazy. and cool.

sickly. again.

I wrote a post over the summer about waking up in the morning, randomly mad dizzy. My mom said it was because I’m “so tired.” “Peegohnhae.”

She attributes all sickness to being tired, and I always get all exapserated and all “plEASE MOOMMM” but … I think she’s right.

I haven’t been sleeping well lately…Even though my body is exhausted, sleep just won’t come. I’d be too tired to keep my eyes open to read a book, but not tired enough to fall asleep…Two weeks ago, I ran on maybe 4? hours of sleep a night…but then last week, I would fall asleep at 4 and wake up at 10. DO THE MATH, that’s like, 6 hours of sleep a night. Then again, two nights ago, I got only 3 hours of sleep and decided to stay up til 4 last night. ANYWAY, with the exception of last night, you’d think 6 hours of sleep is enough but ……. I guess it’s not, considering the fact that I woke up this morning with that dizzy spell AGAAIINN.

It was like 8? and Haemi woke me up [cuz I asked her to! thanks!] but … I don’t remember falling back asleep…then at 8:30, my alarm goes off. I remember hearing a beeping sound [yah that's not my alarm sound], and getting up…but I don’t remember going BACK to bed. My body wakes up a 10:20, and I hop out of bed, only to be overcome by the familiar dizziness. eff.

Long story short,

missed all my classes and took two naps today. 11-3, 5:30-6:30.

I still feel like crap, and I feel like my eyes are going to fall if my eyelids don’t close again right now. and the mohmssal? blah.

…but frankly, this sounds crazy, but sometimes, I like feeling tired and overworked. It reminds me that I’m getting things done? It makes me feel alive? I dunno. But… I need to change.

Moral: GET YOUR SLEEP! HAVE A HEALTHY SLEEP SCHEDULE!

Freshman year, I carried on like this and I was fine. At 20, this is not fine.

sorry for the boring post.

Hm.

I am not a extrovert. Being an extrovert is merely wishful thinking.

I don’t care what tests say, what people say. I NEEEDDD alone time more than I need to be around people. Being around people tire me out. Sometimes, it’s awesome, just because yeah, we need community, but for the most part, it’s exhausting. Community? I can’t get enough of it. But.. there’s isn’t.. ENOUGH of it. But yes. people. oyyyy. get away.

omg I don’t know how I’m going to be married.

Speaking of which, I was telling this to haems, but the more time I spend with non-Korean christians, the more I can’t see myself married to a Korean guy or staying in the Korean Christian culture/society/cult. But then again, when I think of Korean culture/society, I only think about the bad things. I hate the social constricts that a lot of Korean-Americans create for themselves (including me). Ridic. I’m getting heated so… I’m just gonna stop now. But really. Korean culture [the bad stuff] is crippling many of us from growing up and achieving THINGS. ANYTHING. It’s the things you don’t give a second thought about… speaking up in class, socializing in a group, how you perceive yourself…OH and CONFORMITY. holy crap we are ALL about conformity, social norms, following the crowd. holy crap it makes me wanna throw up when I sit and really think about.

I wanna be done with itttt.

If you have a blog…humor me. :) do it!

BOREDD.. and.. procrastinating………….

1. Where is your cell phone? to my right.

2. Your hair? short and wiry. it is. hate it if you want.

3. Your mother? taught me many things

4. Your father? is frustrating

5. Your favorite food? sushi

6. Your dream last night? it was sad.

7. Your favorite drink? sweet tea, diet coke

8. Your dream/goal? raise healthy, thriving, God-seeking kids {oh and save the world}

9. What room are you in? bed room.

10. Your hobby? thinking about how to spend money and then flushing it down the toilet.

12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? not at home.

13. Where were you last night? foxridge…………

14. Something that you aren’t? wise.

15. Muffins? scones!

16. Wish list item? a new bumper for samson

17. Where did you grow up? centreville

18. Last thing you did? try to track down this song… failed.

19. What are you wearing? my new purple boxers with crowns and lions in mustard yellow.

20. Your TV? sweeet.

21. Your pets? loveddd.

22. Friends? appreciated?

23. Your life? is too chaotic at the moment.

24. Your mood? content

25. Missing someone? sometimes yes, sometimes no.

26. Vehicle? a P.O.S j.k. i love you samson.

27. Something you’re not wearing? makeup?

28. Your favorite store? bed bath and beyond. no joke.

29. Your favorite color? green!

30. When was the last time you laughed? an hour ago maybe

31. Last time you cried? don’t remember

32. Your best friend? where the hell is she?

33. One place that I go to over and over? that conversation topic that makes peoples’ ears bleed.

34. One person who emails me regularly? JNSR, BEETCHES.

35. Favorite place to eat? owens. not cuz it’s good, but becuz it.. is. owens.

OK DO IT, willis, sooj, haems, jennifer, cindy, oppa…and whoever else read this!

PURE GRACE.

Ok I jUST posted. but after I posted I was kinda just sitting here feeling overwhelmed with worry for people, feeling terrible about my leadership, tired, anxious…to the point where I was just like “WHERE IS MY BIBLEEEEEE I NEED MY BIIBLLLLEEEE!!!” (but just in my head.)

Have you ever felt that way? This like desperate need to just be in the Word?

So I like grab my bible quickly, slam it on my desk and think, “PLEASE GOD, give me something good…”

Where do I go? PSALM. DUH.

First Psalm I turn to:

Psalm 20

For the director of music. A psalm of David.

¹ May the LORD answer you when you are in distress;
may the name of the God of Jacob protect you.

² May he send you help from the sanctuary
and grant you support from Zion.

³ May he remember all your sacrifices
and accept your burnt offerings.
Selah

⁴ May he give you the desire of your heart
and make all your plans succeed.

⁵ We will shout for joy when you are victorious
and will lift up our banners in the name of our God.
May the LORD grant all your requests.

⁶ Now I know that the LORD saves his anointed;
he answers him from his holy heaven
with the saving power of his right hand.

⁷ Some trust in chariots and some in horses,
but we trust in the name of the LORD our God.

⁸ They are brought to their knees and fall,
but we rise up and stand firm.

⁹ O LORD, save the king!
Answer ^[a] us when we call!

thankyou jesus.

relief.

just dropped one of my classes that i really didn’t need but in a moment of ambition decided to take on.

and i didn’t think it would be a big deal but i feel almost a cathartic release of emotions.

i can physically breathe a little easier. ok crap i feel a little nervous…for no reason.

in other news,

God broke me with his love this past week and it was the most incredible thing to be freed from chains, yo.

I have been MIA with the one thing that should be most important. crap.

redemption?

SPEAKING of redemption:

I was sitting and thinking about God’s redeeming love and was reminded about a situation that has yet to be redeemed. Hm. God doesn’t forget things and I firmly believe that he reedems ALLLLLL things.

hm.

blahblah

Most of my memories of the past couple weeks  are clouded by feeling tired, groggy, fatigued….

But I’m taking each day as it comes…
and I can’t help but worry about all the things going less than perfectly in my life…

One more class then the day is done…

There just isn’t enough hours in the day.

I find myself sitting and staring trying to figure out when I’m gonna get a chance to make that appointment… to meet this person.. get to to this place… to eat lunch…

When I really think about it though… I’m not burnt out at all.. not even close.

..HOW is it already Wednesday..NIGHT. My mind is still on Tuesday. gah. SLOW DOWWWNNNnnn..

Just a Thought..before class

sorta kinda late for class but just a thought…

so today has been graciously, a good day. but the minute i even twittered that thought, Satan started filling my head with reasons why this day shouldn’t be so great.. why my life isn’t so great. and again. greg laurie devotionals to the rescue!!!there is only one thing that will ever satisfy any of our needs/desires and that isour relationshp with Christ our LORD.

Again, I saw that for all toil and every skillful work a man is envied by his neighbor. This also is vanity and grasping for the wind.
–Ecclesiastes 4:4

Seriously..

SERIOUSLY WORLD,

we serve an amazing, compassionate, loving God.

nights like the one that I just experienced leave me speechless, breathless… metaphorically speaking, it’s like I can’t look into the heavens because I am so blown away at the strength of his glory that is ever so present.

Mark my words, bloggersphere,

VTCAMPUS will NOT be the same.

Omg I’m shaking my head as I write this. This is amazing. This is so perfect.

And to think God can use such small, people………. I was about to say insignificant but I really do have to start looking at myself as freaking awesome and perfect because I am because of His blood.

I can’t believe it.

Finally, I’m there… You’d think that by now, it wouldn’t blow me away so much, but seeing God’s hand on my life STILL amazes me. He is so awesome.
OK I will stop jibberjabbering with these silly words. SIGH. this week was so bad, but God redeems!

OH and it is 12:03 so I can officially celebrate my 8 year anniversary walking with the Lord. It’s been good, my man.